Quoting Life's Occurances
by LaoevanSVU
Summary: Our favorite detectives are featured in a series of one-shots, that are centered around a quote. R & R if you think they are funny or not, and criticize my work! I might boost rating to T for it to be safe. Chapter 2 is up, almost complete!
1. Quote 1

**These type of stories are done by other authors for different TV shows, and I haven't see one done yet for Law and Order SVU, so these are my own little short stories based off of a quote. If you review and say that you want more, I will write more of these. If that were to happen though, be warned that I am a usually an incredibly slow updater so it will be a long wait until the next story. Please R & R!**

**Oh yeah, the disclaimers: Dick Wolf and NBC own Law and Order SVU, and all of its characters and plots and stories except for the stuff that I make up. **** He's awesome**

It was a slow evening in the precinct, and since every one finished all their work for the day, there was an air of calmness and quietness in the room. Elliot, Olivia, and Fin were really bored, so they decided to play cards.

Elliot took out the deck that he kept in his desk and bent the pile of cards into his palms to shuffle it. Everyone thought that it was interesting to watch, because he had the card-shuffling-skills of a casino card dealer. Finally, after a minuet or two, when he was content with the diversity of the cards in the deck, he dealt them. 5 cards went to the people sitting all around him, except Munch, who refused to play. Munch thought that card games were stupid, and had to intervene with his irritating comments, like he always did when they played poker.

"Once again, I see you want to play that stupid game. This is not casino, so what's the point? You don't even have poker chips or money to make it realistic. I mean, who would be dumb enough to remember that erasers represent one hundred dollars, paper clips one thousand dollars, and little post-it balls represent 50 dollars? Also, I see that you all obviously stink at poker, so it's just annoying to watch. Jeez!"

Elliot snickered. "Apparently you, moron! Will you please just leave us alone? I wouldn't tick of a man with my lack of anger management skills! You never know what would happen to you."

Fin just rolled his eyes and concentrated on his cards. He really wanted to say something, but he kept it in his head. Munch did the same thing all the time, so it was not worth causing problems.

"Dammit, I have a loser for partner. He can't shut his annoying-ass mouth for two second so that we could have fun! With him spitting out conspiracies and other garbage all the time, it really ticks me off. Oh, well, I'll just ignore him- SHIT!"

Fin had just lost all of the money he bet, and it was scooped up into the outstretched arms of Olivia. She grinned and put it in her pile.

"Ha, looks like I'm finally winning something for once!"

She was excited, because she usually lost every single game that they played. Every Single Game. It wasn't even funny anymore. Then she would get pissed and quit before she went completely broke. All her money went to Elliot, and then she would storm off.

However, today Liv was on a winning streak. Every hand was won by her. She was on a roll, and there was no stopping her.

"I suppose that I can't storm off and call it quits," Questioned Elliot, after he lost yet again.

Olivia turned in his direction. "You can only do that if you lose every game like me! You win every other time we play. If you are going to quit though, could you shut up Munch over there? HE WON'T STOP TALKING!"

Munch was usually like this, but he had been consecutively talking for the whole game, commenting things that were not only mean, but retarded too. Elliot and Fin were pissed because of the fact that they kept getting beat by Olivia, so they had extremely heightened nerves, and they agreed with her.

Fin threw down his losing hand and stood up.

"Yeah! Let's get that scrawny asshole! I've had enough of him! Elliot, get the tape!"

Elliot reached into his drawer and pulled out a roll of duct tape. He viciously ripped off a long piece of it with his teeth and held it up.

"What do you want me to do with this? Elliot asked.

Olivia reluctantly placed her cards on the table too. It was upsetting her that they had to stop playing, but something had to be done. She got up, walked over to Elliot and whispered in his ear what the tape was for. He grinned like the devil and rubbed his hands together.

"That's a perfect idea," He cackled. He then started walking over to Munch, with Olivia and Fin right behind him. Munch looked up at the advancing group.

"What's wrong guys?" He asked. Those were that last words that he said before they attacked him.

Munch was in a daze. The speed and efficiency of their blitz attack was amazing. He was now bound to his chair, his hand taped to his sides and his mouth covered by a long piece of duct tape. No matter how hard he tried to talk, the words wouldn't come out because he couldn't move his mouth. He looked up at them in alarm. "Why did they do that?" He wondered.

Olivia looked down at Munch's hurt, confused eyes. She felt sympathy for him, and thought that they had hurt him.

"Hey, Munch, are you okay?" She turned to Elliot. "Did we hurt him? I just wanted to teach him a lesson!"

Elliot answered her. "Nah, he's tough. The only thing that we hurt was his ego. He'll be fine."

"Oh okay then, I just want to do one last thing before Fin lets go of his legs. Wait right there!"

Olivia ran to her desk and pulled out a blue marker. She then jogged back to Munch, uncapped it, and wrote something on his face.

"Tah da! There, this will teach him a lesson! Come and look everyone!"

Both men turned around, read what she wrote, and cracked up. "Holy crap, that shit's funny!" Howled Fin.

On Munch's face, Olivia had wrote OUR FAVORITE CONSPIRACY THEORIST in letters big enough to read from a distance, but small enough to fit nicely across his face.

Elliot held up a mirror that he had found (in his desk, of course), and showed Munch what Olivia had wrote. He looked at the writing and glared at her. All of the sudden, Fin let go of his legs, and Munch slammed them on the ground to get Cragen's attention from in his office.

Cragen had been quietly finishing up some of his largely accumulated pile of paper work when he heard the bang. He jumped up from his desk ran out of his office, only to see three of his best detectives surrounding a tied up Munch, with satisfied looks on their faces. Olivia was holding her marker, Elliot the mirror, and Fin the duct tape roll. It was obvious to him who had tied up Munch, and no matter how funny what Olivia wrote on his face was, he was mad that they had done that.

"Untie him, now! Why did you tie him up? You could have hurt him!"

Munch got up from the chair as soon as Fin and Elliot had cut his bonds, and turned towards the three of them. "What did I do? Why did you write that on my face?" Olivia stifled a laugh. "It wasn't funny Olivia! I demand and explanation!" He crossed his arms, continuing to glare at them.

Fin walked up to him and patted his arm. "Sorry Munch, but some very wise dude once said: Silence is golden, but duct tape is sliver. I happened to agree with him, and we wanted to teach you that you can really piss people off once in a while. I bet the others are sorry too though. Right guys?"

Olivia and Elliot looked at Munch, genuinely sorry, and said "Sorry." Munch, after a minuet of thought, said, "Oh, its okay. Just tell me next time!"

They all had made up, and were about to leave when Fin turned to Munch.

"Hey, Munch?"

"Yeah?"

"What Olivia wrote wasn't funny, it was hilarious! I just wanted you to know that."

With that being said, Fin walked away, jacket in hand.

Munch looked at Fin's retreating form and just sighed.

"Jerk," he muttered, before he ran up to catch up to him."

The Quote Was: "Silence is Golden, but duct tape is silver" I found it on someone's profile.

**Okay, so that was my first quote story for Law and Order SVU! Please Review, and tell me if you liked it, I'm open to criticism. Sorry for beating up Munch, but he is annoying sometimes. Also, if you find any mistakes, please comment them in your review. Thank you! Once again, if you tell me you want more, I will write more! Also, comment more possible quotes that I can use for inspiration SVU Rules! **

**-LaoevanSVU**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok readers, I now updated a new story because 1 person wanted me to make more. I will be taking a different spin on this story, and I will try to make it as funny as I can. I put these under humor because I find my work amusing, because I have a dry, strange sense of humor. After you read this, please criticize what I wrote. I take good and bad reviews. Oh, and just to warn my readers, these stories will vary in length, Also, I might update usually once a week, maybe earlier, or maybe later, it depends on my schedule. Sorry for making this so long, I just wanted to inform readers about important matters. Okay, here is Quote Story # 2! WARNING- A little E/O in here!**

**~Disclaimer- Dick Wolf and NBC own Law and Order SVU, I am just trying to entertain people~ Enjoy!**

It was the beginning of a new work day for the inhabitants of the 16th Precinct. Everyone was up and about, looking for coffee to stimulate their exhausted selves. Elliot had just entered the room, and he was silhouetted in the doorway. Seeing everyone moving around, like busy, annoying little bugs ticked him off. Well, except for Olivia, his most favorite partner. She was the only one not moving; unconsciously slumped on her desk, sound asleep.

"Ha, she must be exhausted from last night's case; we were up for a long time. I'm never mad at Liv, she's the best."

Elliot however was back to being mad at everyone else, his calm moment caused by thinking Olivia forgotten. Finally he just walked up to the lockers and slammed his fist into his own. It left a large dent next to the various other dents Elliot had made on his locker door when he was angry. He turned around and yelled at the hubbub, "Grr! I'm extremely mad! Why must everyone be so… busy! It's annoying!"

The sound of the large clank and the yelling woke up Olivia. She jumped up and looked around, disoriented. "Where am I? She mumbled. Then her sight focused on her partner. She brightened and grinned.

"Hey, Elliot, I literally heard when you came in. I see that you added a new dent on your locker. Why is everybody staring at you? Aren't they used to it by now. You're usually angry about something. What's up?" Olivia was blabbering, because she knew that it would calm down Elliot. It always did.

"I'm pissed because my nerves are heightened, and that's because of Kathleen. She got arrested for drunk driving, _again_. Now I'll just have to use my 'influential police officer power' to get her out. She has to realize though that just because I'm a cop doesn't mean she can break the law."

Olivia beckoned for Elliot to sit down at his desk. He sat down, and she placed her hand on his and gently said, "El, calm down. She'll learn eventually. All kids are mischievous when they're young."

Elliot and Olivia were softly staring at each other, hidden affection showing in their eyes. Then Fin walked up to them. "Are you lovebirds gonna stop staring at each other? Jeez, why can't you just admit your undying love for each other? It's incredibly obvious."

Elliot hastily replied, "Well, we can't because I have 4 kids that are mine and Kathy's, and she hasn't divorced me again yet, but when she does, I will probably get together with Olivia. So for now all we can do is want to get married."

"I don't really care, so just look at this, it's more important." Fin threw a manila folder on their desks. They broke apart, Olivia hastily removing her hand from Elliot's. They both blushed.

Elliot picked up the file and opened it. "It's a triple homicide. The victims were found naked and beaten to a pulp. There was evidence found that they were sexually assaulted too. They were all women. What's wrong with this perp?"

"I don't know, but we need to get him off of the streets. He/she can't be allowed to attack another innocent person again," Olivia said. She then looked around, confused. "Where's Munch? He usually comes in with you. Did you leave him at his apartment?

Fin shot up and ran to get his coat. "Oh crap, actually, I did! I forgot all about him! Be back in 15 minuets!" With that being said, Fin bolted down the stairs and out the building. A few seconds later, Olivia and Elliot heard the roar of a car engine and then the sound of squealing tires. Then Elliot put down the file and turned towards Olivia. He said, "How could he not have noticed? I guess he thought that Munch was sick. Liv, I would never forget you. I just wanted you to know that." He smiled, and then picked up the file again.

"Let's look up these women's backgrounds to see how they were all related. This perp is a serial killer, and there is no doubt that he will strike again."

Olivia nodded her head. "Right," she said. "Hey, Elliot, friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it, only you get the warm feeling that it brings." Elliot looked at her and said, "I agree, and love works the same way." They then walked off different directions, in pursuit of a computer. As she walked away, she secretly smiled to herself.

!STARY PAGE BREAK THINGY!

Exactly 15 minutes later, Fin and Munch arrived into the building. They were arguing, and Munch was pissed that Fin had forgotten him. Fin was just pissed because Munch couldn't have just gotten to work on his own. Their argument went as follows.

"You pick me up every morning! How could you just leave me at my place? Now I'm late! This is entirely your fault!" -Munch

"Well, if you saw that I was late, couldn't your bony ass just have used one of the many transportation methods that we have access to in New York, like the subway or the bus? Your lazy moron, you could have even called a taxi! So stop whining!" –Fin

"I was expecting my chauffeur service. Now I need to fine you." –Munch

"I'll show you a fine!" Fin looked like he wanted to wring Munch's neck. He advanced towards Munch, but was interrupted by Elliot. He had just walked up to them, followed by Olivia. "Calm down, you can kick his ass later. Liv and I found the connection between the three victims."

Fin glared at Munch and then looked down at his watch. "In fifteen minutes? That was fast. So what is it?"

Elliot said, "The girls themselves were picked randomly, since they look nothing alike, are different ages, and not even the same ethnicity. What they all had in common was the routes they took when they were walking home. Their starting points were totally different, but their paths crossed at one particular spot, next to an alley. That was where the perp grabbed them most likely. I think to catch him and bring him into custody; we will need someone to go and pretend to be the next victim." He turned towards Olivia.

"Why do I always have to risk myself to catch perpetrators? Since I'm the only girl, I have to do all of the hard and dangerous shit? Why can't we just dress up Munch like a woman? He's skinny enough." Munch looked offended at that statement.

"You have to do it because we said so. Anyway, I'd make a terrible girl!" Munch looked as if he thought that what he said was the perfect reason. Fin mumbled under his breath loudly, "You're too damn ugly to be a woman. You couldn't fool a blind person." Munch just looked pissed after that.

Elliot looked at Olivia and reassured her. "Look, you're the best person for the job, and the only person. Just bear with it, alright? We'll be your backup, so you will be safe."

Olivia just pouted and said, "We need another girl around here for fieldwork. Melinda doesn't count; being an M.E. doesn't risk your life. Ugh, I'll go and get the hooker clothes." She stomped away, looking annoyed at everyone.

"What the fuck is she talking about?" Asked Fin

Elliot just smiled and said, "When we have a big case like this, we get her to dress up like a hooker to attract the perps. It always works. When she looks like that, it gets rapists to come to her like flies. She has secret spots on the suit that really are pockets for weapons and other useful items."

"Isn't it still dangerous for her to be doing this? Is it really worth risking her life?" Munch questioned.

Elliot confidently replied, "Leave her safety to me. I'll be tailing her for the entire time. I'll never take my eyes off of her, I promise."

Munch smirked. "I know that for a fact Elliot."

Fin asked, "When are we going to be doing this? Tonight?"

"Yeah, we need to collar this guy."

!ANOTHER STARY PAGE BREAK THINGY!

At exactly six o'clock at night, everyone was ready. Fin and Munch had their route mapped out, and they had parked their car several hours earlier so that they would have a clear view of the alley. Elliot would be dropping off Olivia two blocks away from the alley, and he would be blending in with scenery, while he was tailing her. Olivia was all dressed up, hooker outfit on, and that was all covered up by a long trench coat. Olivia looked something like Xena the Warrior Princess, but with a skimpier outfit. She also had on fishnets to cover her legs. The trench coat was to make it less noticeable to the outside world. Everyone was gathered at a desk. It was Fin's desk, and Elliot was sitting on it.

"Why do you have to get your stinky freaking ass germs on my desk man? What the hell? Do you want me to sit on your desk? Get off!" Fin attempted to shove Elliot off, but he wouldn't budge.

"I'm going to sit here until Don tells us that it's time to leave. Hopefully he got the tech to wire up Olivia." He turned towards Olivia. "Liv, are you done?

Olivia looked up. "Yeah just about. I just have to arrange the mike and… there!" She had adjusted her mike on her coat so that when she needed, she could raise her wrist and talk to Elliot. It was another safety feature that she had.

"Yo Captain, everyone's ready! Can we go so that Elliot can get off of my desk? He looks like he wants to fart on it!" Fin looked desperate to kick off Elliot. Elliot just swung his legs back and forth and waited for a reply. He was grinning like a five year old.

Cragen came out of his office and examined the group. "Are you all ready? Especially you Olivia, you have the hardest job in this." Everyone answered with a simultaneous, "Yes sir," and they all turned to leave. Elliot jumped off of Fin's desk and walked away happily. Ticking off people was fun in his mind.

Fin went over to his desk and cautiously sniffed it. He looked relieved and thought, "At least he didn't do anything, or he would have gotten an ass whooping. Lucky bastard." He then ran outside to join Munch, and then, 20 minutes later, Operation Bust Murdering Perp was in sequence.

!OMG, WHAT'S WITH ALL THE STARY PAGE BREAKS?

Elliot and Olivia pulled up to their reserved parking spot. It was vacant because there was a meter there, and everyone knows that you park in front of a meter, you get fined. Olivia was about to get out of the car when Elliot stopped her. He looked deep into her eyes and said, "Liv, are you sure that you're ready for this?"

She looked determined and replied, "Yeah, I am. Let's go get this guy." She opened her door and stepped outside of the car. Elliot walked over to her and gave her a hug.

"Stay safe," He whispered into her ear. He let her go and watched as she began walking towards the alley. After she was

Meanwhile, Fin and Munch were sitting in their own car, waiting to get a visual on Elliot and Olivia. Munch had a pair of binoculars and he was using them to get a clear view of the alley. He zoomed in and tried to focus on the dark inside, but with no luck. He looked at Fin and said, "Shouldn't they be here by now? It's getting late."

Fin was still mad at Elliot for sitting on his desk, and he snapped, "They're probably making out in his car." He glanced out the window. "No wait, here they come. Look, there's Olivia. Damn, she looks really leggy in that outfit!" He wolf-whistled.

Munch just shook his head and said, "Don't let Elliot catch you saying that, hell kick your ass. He gets pissed really easily." They both chuckled and then snapped into attention. It wasn't worth messing up an undercover operation over a laugh.

Olivia's POV

"It's really dark outside," Olivia noticed to herself. She pulled her trench coat more tightly around her body and shivered. "It's pretty cold too. We should get this over with quickly."

She cowered at the stares from other people passing her by. "Hopefully this will make me look vulnerable. Ugh, I'm scared!"

Olivia approached the alleyway. Her breath quickened, and she tensed up, her hand on the gun holster that was attached to her hooker/Xena outfit. "Oh my, I look like an idiot don't I? As long as it attracts creeps, this is what I have to do!"

She entered the alley, immediately sensing a presence behind her.

Elliot's POV

"Munch, Fin, she went in the alley! I'm going after her!" Elliot quickened his pace and slipped into the alley after Benson.

Olivia's POV

"That presence, it's getting closer, it's following me!" Benson's heartbeat sped up, and her hearing became super acute.

A few feet behind her, a man had been leaning against the wall, waiting for his next prey. He saw a beautiful woman walk past. She looked like a hooker, and he wanted her. He began following her, with a 12' pocket blade drawn. "She's mine," he thought.

Benson felt the person following her even more strongly now, and she had a feeling that she might need backup. Then the glow of a small light caught the glint of… something. She looked behind her for a second, and saw a man with a huge pocket blade following her. She panicked.

Elliot's POV

Elliot had seen it all, the way Benson increased her pace and the man following her. What he didn't notice until now was the knife that he had drawn, clearly with the intention of using it. It was huge, and he looked like he was about to lunge at her. He broke cover and yelled into his sleeve-mike, "Liv, get the hell out of there!"

Olivia's POV

Olivia didn't need Elliot's warning to know it was time to split. She tied her coat as tight as it would go around her and ran towards the entrance of the alley, and without even realizing it, bowling over her follower and Elliot. "AHH!" She cried, waving her arms in the air. "Help me!" She ran in the direction of Fin and Munch. Panic was turning her brain to mush.

Elliot's POV

As soon as he yelled a warning to Olivia, she ran like a bat out of hell. She knocked down the suspect with her flailing arms, and then hit him across the face. He staggered back and wiped at his face. There was a little blood spilling from a cut on his face from her nails. "Ugh, Benson! You're going to kill our mission!" He saw the perp get up and run after her. "At least she's leading him right to Fin & Munch." He got up and ran after them.

Omniscient POV

Munch threw his binoculars to Fin. Fin peered through them and saw a strange scene. Benson was running out of the alley while waving her arms and screaming at the top of her lungs, their suspect was running after her as if he was trying to catch her, and Elliot was in the rear, trying to catch the both of them.

"What the hell? Munch, do you think they need backup?"

Munch saw what was happening and kicked his door open. As he was getting out, he pulled out his gun and beckoned to Fin, "Yeah, they look like they have everything under control. Don't look at me like that, I was being sarcastic. Get over here!"

Fin drew his gun and opened his door too. He ran up and stood next to Munch, and pointed his gun where Munch was pointing his, at the oncoming group. They had to stop them. "Ready Munch?"

"Yup."

"Okay one, two, three! POLICE, STOP!" They yelled in unison.

Benson finally stopped panicking and she skidded to a halt. She turned around, just as the perp was almost on top of her, and she punched him in the face. He fell to the floor, blood gushing from his nose. Elliot kneeled, pinning the suspect to the ground with his body weight. He took out a pair of cuffs, and while cuffing him, recited his Miranda rights. When he was finished, he pulled him off of the ground and held him by the hands. He took the knife from him and pocketed it.

Looking at Benson, her eyes wide and her chest heaving from running, he smiled. "It looks like we caught him, right? You can calm down now. I kept you safe, see?"

She managed a grin and panted while saying. "Yeah, well, done, El. God, I'm exhausted. Let's bring him to our car."

They started walking the man to their car, completely ignoring Munch and Fin. As they approached it, Elliot noticed something on the window. He took a closer look and cursed. It was and orange plastic envelope stuck on to the side of their car, with a piece of paper inside of it. He knew what that meant.

"Fuck! We got a ticket!"

Back by the alley, Munch and Fin just stood there, shocked.

"They didn't even acknowledge us." Munch sighed.

Fin looked pissed."Where were the thanks for screwing Benson's head on straight and stopping her crazy run? Without us, they would have lost him! What the fuck? Now they're getting all of the credit too. That's it, I'm leaving this place. Come on Munch."

Munch got into the car, and Fin joined him. He slammed his foot on the pedal and raced off. They were both headed to the precinct, in pursuit of the case.

**Okay, I know that this isn't complete, but I wanted to give something to my readers who have been waiting a week plus for this. I'll update it again a little later, I'm writing the ending. So far, I used the quote, "Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone sees it, but only you feel the warmth that it brings." I had a lot of E/O in this chapter, so I thought that quote would apply. I'm going to add more quotes by the ending. I hope you liked this one so far; it's really long, but not finished. R & R so that I know where I can improve as a writer and so that I know you want more. Criticize; tell me if you like/loved it or hated it, I would really appreciate a review! **

**~LaoevanSVU **


End file.
